Shooting for 'From Isolation to Solitude' is now well and truly underway with the aim to be finished with the shooting by the end of December in readiness for editing, printing, framing. It's been a pretty crazy journey.
When I started down this path a friend asked me if I wanted to use him as a model instead of putting myself in the images. My gut reaction was a pretty stern 'No' it would have far more impact if people were able to see that it was me recreating these moments of Isolation and hence become invested in the journey of how I reached the point where I am now....the journey from Isolation to Solitude.
I didn't think shooting would have much affect on me, I've been clean and sober now for a while, I make all the necessary steps to stay this way, I do yoga, I meditate and throw a lot of my focus into photography, I'm in a good place!
I am quite happy to admit here that I was wrong. I never anticipated the impact that doing this shoot would have on me. For one, I'm not a good model so on the surface the issue of time has been a challenging issue. It's taken such a huge amount of time to set the shot, get into position, check, not be happy with the light, my pose etc, then repeat, sometimes many many times.
Add onto the above the fact that while I'm in no way recreating or glorifying addiction in any way I am trying to capture the emotion of Isolation, one that I spent a great deal of time in. Let's call it arrogance, that I thought I was beyond any affect from staying in this frame of mind, however it definitely pushed me into a negative way of thinking. All I can say is that I am incredibly grateful to my good friend Suresh for talking me through this process, taking the pressure off me and just being a great sounding board.
With all of the above though, and with the benefit of a good friend and hindsight I can happily say that I'm already incredibly proud of the images I have so far. There is a quiet darkness and beauty in them, I always said that the journey of putting on this exhibition would be much stronger for me than the actual images, and it has been thus far. I've learnt a great deal about photography just from this, I've learnt to trust my instincts and I've learnt to listen and ask for help when I needed it.....all of those things have failed me previously, just like life, progress not perfection.
Look forward to finishing the images, having the exhibition then getting the images up here!
Thanks and Merry Xmas to all!